Overcoming the holidays...

Karin

For us fellow transplant recipients, the holidays may pose a special problem/issue/challenge...

First, this is the time when most people reflect on their lives and what we could have done better or what went horribly wrong. For us, as patients of diseases that per definition reflect "failure" of an organ, at least I feel especially bad about why this happened to me, and incredibly lucky and grateful that someone or several people (I have three transplants) stepped up and "saved" me.

However, during holiday times, we often gather as a family (if we are lucky enough to have one!), and that requires conversations with those who know us the best, and often those who may have "saved" us...

The need to be grateful and avoid difficult conversations with those "saviors" can sometimes be a burden and even work against the idea of having a relaxing holiday.

Despite this possible tension, it is still wonderful to be surrounded by love and again being the fortunate ones, who are alive, and that brings me to the second point:

Those who aren't as lucky... those who did not get a transplant in time, or those who are still waiting... Many of my thoughts over the past week have been with them, and I cant help to fear being in that position one day and that haunts me badly.

That is what gets me going every morning, and that is what leaves me restless when others "hang out". For me, structure makes life easier to handle, and exercise when there is less work obligations to take my mind off the fears of being back in that dialysis chair, or in the hospital not knowing if I will ever get well again.

dlatchison

Thank you for sharing your reflections, Karin.

I've certainly struggled with how to approach the topic of gratitude, especially as it relates to the gift of an organ (in my case, a kidney from my stepfather). I find that, most times, whenever I think about my appreciation for his donation, I immediately reach out. He's been very understanding and hasn't (especially in the later years of my current transplant) really asked for any type of affirmation—but I know everyone needs it sometimes, especially those who give that gift.

You reiterating that there are folks who are still waiting or who didn't receive one in time really drives home how important the practice of gratitude is—in all aspects of life. That's something I'm really trying to take with me into 2024.