General — TransplantLyfe

General

Stay positive (the statement)

KarinExpert
Transplant Patient
January 9, 2024 in General

Does anyone react negatively to this statement?

I have heard many pts who hate hearing this, and I have to say it doesn’t resonate with me either…

reactions?

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1 - 3 of 3 Replies

  • AliEm14Expert
    Transplant Patient

    I hate it. Mostly because I don't think it's accurate, nor is it helpful. If I'm going through something, telling me to stay positive feels more dismissive than encouraging. When people feel dismissed, they're less likely to reach out for help should they need it. And when we look at humanity, in order for healthy growth and adaptability and nervous system function and all the things we need to be capable, whole people, we actually need the whole spectrum of human emotions. Emotions are there for a reason. Our reactions to situations are valid, and are working to keep us safe.

    When someone tells me to just stay positive, I usually do the awkward smile and make a mental note to not talk to that person again.

    January 9, 2024
  • MelsammTransplant Patient

    This one is awkward one for me. I do not totally agree. I think if it’s said in the right situation “maybe” it’s ok.

    January 9, 2024
  • JeanmarieTransplant Patient

    I get very annoyed with the statement. I feel like I am very positive but sometimes I need to vent or I feel like I need to state my case about not feeling well. I used to dismiss the statement. But over the years I have realized people who say it have never been around someone with a chronic illness or have not experienced it themselves. And they simply don't know what to say. They think it's helping. Now, I usually just agree and thank them for letting me vent or whatever the context was for them to say that and end it with something positive. That way they might be able to say something more inspiring to the next person.

    January 9, 2024
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