General
Donor family connection- looking for experience…..
May 25, 2025
in General
In March of 2023, I received a liver from a deceased donor. I knew in 2020 my disease was such that I needed a full liver. So I waited for someone to die. Really messes with the brain. I finally sent my letter to the family in January 2025. I heard back from the organ organization in March, my letter was received and was being forwarded to the family. Last Thursday, I received a voicemail from the organization that the brother of my donor is interested in connecting. I am looking tips and experiences with donor family contact. I appreciate all of your experiences and look forward to discussions
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Transplant Patient
I'm sending you so much love and support! I also got a deceased donor, and felt that 'waiting for someone to die' feeling. As much as they try to tell you that isn't the case, it can be so hard not to internalize those feelings.
I chose not to know anything about my donor family, and don't know if I'll ever want to connect with them. They know who I am but no contact has been initiated and I respect their grief and their decision. It's such a delicate process.
Maybe we can ask the group in support groups this week if they have any insights! Sounds like a great topic
Thanks AliEm14, this decision has been filled with caution. Yet I do find myself wanting to know a little about him. Not sure why? I know many transplant folks like you that don’t want to “know”.
it would be an interesting topic for a support group, thanks for thinking of that.
i will keep the group posted on my journey.
Sending love and support and I hope you both have a positive and meaningful interacton! It is perfectly normal to want to know more about your donor and I look forward to hearing about your experience.
I completed forms and wrote my donor family a letter while still in the transplant center hospital. It took 2-years before my donor's Mom reached back. And that's OK! It is so much harder on the donor family than us.
We did meet up at a hotel lobby. Mom had a photo album and even gave me a small gift (a sock monkey) that was one of my donor's favorite toys as a child. We have exchanged a few emails since, and a holiday card or two. But the connection has wained. Understandable.
I think the meeting provided closure for Mom. I super enjoyed it myself. It was special in a way most people just cannot fathom.
I remember speaking to my social worker at my first clinic visit. She told me to take three weeks to gather my thoughts and emotions. She felt I was too emotional at the time to write the letter. I submitted my letter at my one-month transplant follow up appointment. I was informed that I might not get a response. To my surprise I received a card from my donor's family at my 7th month follow up visit. I will now leave it up to the family if they will want to meet me.
Ldybug97- it took me almost 2 years to write my letter, I am hopeful that we can both feel peace. Thank you for sharing.
Keep that spirit. I will pray that it gives you and the donor's family peace of mind and a healing mindset.