Liver — TransplantLyfe


Informing People

TaylorCTransplant Patient
Updated April 3, 2021 in Liver

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you all have a great long weekend.

I've been noticing that more often then not, when people find out that I am in need of a liver transplant, their reactions are very uncomfortable, and I understand that it isn't every day that someone you care about says "Ya I'm needing a transplant" or "I am on a transplant list" of any kind, so it can definitely throw people off. I have told only close friends and family who have been BEYOND supportive, but I have found on a couple occasions when someone I haven't seen for a long time or someone who was just curious as to why I have been sick for so long, have literally flat out just changed the subject when I try to explain what has been going on with me. It makes me really anxious and nervous to open up to people about my experience, and almost makes me feel ashamed or isolated. I know it shouldn't but it does feel that way sometimes. Has anyone else had any experiences where something similar has happened? And if so, how did you feel and how did you go about the relationship with that person or people afterwards?

1 - 6 of 6 Replies

  • AliEm14Transplant Patient

    I made a public announcement on social media when I needed a transplant with a disclaimer that if people were uncomfortable they could unfriend me. I just decided I had enough to deal with and if they wanted to be awkward about it they could keep it to themselves or leave. I did lose a lot of friends or extended family but in the end those weren’t my people anyway.

    own your truth, stand in your power. If other people can’t tolerate it, that’s on them. You don’t need to micromanage their reactions or even pay them any mind

    April 3, 2021
  • KarinTransplant Patient

    I had a very uncomfortable experience with one person pre kidney - he just said: this is too much for me, why don’t we take a step back and you deal w your stuff ... I was sad at first but then realized I was better off without him!

    April 3, 2021
  • TaylorCTransplant Patient

    You are exactly right, the more I think about it, the more I need to be okay with not having to micromanage their comfortability, and maintain my own.

    April 12, 2021
  • TaylorCTransplant Patient

    Absolutely better off without him! I did a lot of thinking about this topic over the past couple weeks, and have come to understand that if people dont want much to do with you after finding out the news, then they probably are not the people I want to surround myself with in the first place :)

    April 12, 2021
  • AliEm14Transplant Patient

    @TaylorC yes! You are your first priority! One thing I’ve discovered is I’ve gotten really selfish since my transplant - and that’s a good thing! I’m putting me first, I stopped caring what people think. And I love it!

    April 13, 2021
  • JeanmarieTransplant Patient

    This has happened several times throughout my transplant journey. At first it made me feel ashamed and weird. But after a while I realized its not me, its them. If they don't want to be in my life to support me and I support them, they are just not meant to be in my life. Nothing wrong with creating healthy boundaries. It has always surprised me who was comfortable with talking about transplant and who wasn't. We just never know what someone else is going through. At least that is what I tell myself to be a peace with their decision to not be in my life or not.

    April 14, 2021
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