General
Transplant = Relationship Rewrites?
Being a transplant recipient changes way more than just your body. It changes your relationships too!
This is what we talked about in our international support group last week with @DannyH and I loved hearing the diversity in perspectives, from people who've been with the same partner since before their transplant to people having to navigate dating post transplant.
I've been with my partner since pre-transplant, and we both say post transplant me is an entirely different person. Not only have I changed as a person, my relationships have also shape shifted with me. Some things survived the transplant, and others didn't.
As a transplant recipient, we've gone through so much that most other people don't even have to think about, and navigating relationships on top of that adds a whole new layer.
I'd love to hear how transplant has shaped your relationships, or your dating life.
1 - 6 of 6 Replies
this such a great conversation. In my experience when I first got diagnosed in 2006 my partner at the time was with me through all the unknowns and stayed with me through the tx but unfortunately it became toxic and lots of resentment as well. I lost some people along the way, and learning to be in a new relationship post transplant had some new challenges on how to share the fact that i had a chronic condition. Some times I always feel like i was a burden to those around me, but as ive learned to live with this acceptance that this is what my life is like (back on dialysis) and waiting for a 2nd tx that its never easy and i keep me circle close.
I hate to sound like a bummer, but I lost most of my friends. I had my transplant due to alcoholic cirrhosis, so I changed my entire lifestyle. My friends, I guess, could not handle this much real. That's ok. I get it.
My husband and I just celebrated our 18th anniversary. This entire transplant journey has made us rock solid. He never left my side, and I never had to worry about my wishes being advocated. He is my bear, my love, my partner. I am truly blessed.
Hello Tia,
I had my liver transplant back in 2022.
And I have a similar situation; most of my friends don't understand how hard it is to change your lifestyle after such a life-threatening event. But my husband has been my rock; he really understands and gives me all the support I need. My best friend, on the other hand, treated me like I had a dental treatment - never asked questions on how I feel, how hard it was, and didn't even bother to participate in my recovery. And because I don't drink anymore and can't handle a large crowd, I'm not invited to do things like before my transplant.
Sometimes I feel lonely because I choose not to participate in certain events, but knowing that what I'm feeling is normal makes it easier to manage.
You are absolutely right: Having your husband by your side is truly a blessing!
@Alexc1972 I am so glad you have your husband. Anyone who is still around are blessings, too.
Hi Tia, my situation was similar, I lost an entire circle of friends of 20+ years, except 3-4 people who understand and respect my new lifestyle.
My tx was unplanned and I was terminally ill with late stage alcoholic cirrhosis when I arrived at the hospital in a state 1500 miles from home.
It has been difficult starting new platonic relationships in a new city with a new lifestyle (without alcohol), but I’m trying!
My fiancé at the time (when I started showing symptoms of cirrhosis) is still one of my good close friends, I’m lucky to have been able to salvage that relationship. I’m still trying to figure out if I want to even try dating again. Any tips lol?
Wow. Tips on dating. Been out of the game for 18 years now. Happily. I think you will find that someone when you least expect it, and once you stop looking. That's what happened to me. And on a serious note, life is so awesome without the booze. It's alot simpler. Trust me.