General
The losses
We don’t talk about the losses that come with transplant living, do we? It’s all grateful to be alive (which I am) and live every day like it’s your last (which I do).
but there’s also some really big losses that came with my transplant, things that make me sad.
like my clothes don’t fit anymore. I know it’s a trivial problem and it’s because my body is no longer carrying around a sick and dying organ but I need a whole new wardrobe. And on that note I’m still struggling with wrapping my head around the fact that I’m not 300 pounds anymore. And my scars are like little zippers and I have a weird lump of scar tissue on half my stomach. Body image is just weird.
and the fact that I won’t get pregnant again. Which was ok to deal with when I was dying but now I’m not actively dying and I still can’t get pregnant and my only child died because of my illness. And everyone I know seems to be having babies.
or what about how half of my family won’t talk to me anymore because I trusted my doctors with my life and handed myself over to science instead of having faith (I come from a really strange place)
transplant life isn’t all sunshine and roses and I guess I just wanted a place to say that. Sometimes it’s hard. And hard is ok too
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I understand how you feel about the body changing but I’m the opposite of you. I lost 50 to 60 pounds when I was so sick and now after transplant I’m gaining it back and kinda the smaller me. Everyone says I look better and to be happy but I have the saggy belly and hips I’ve never had before I just don’t like it. I try to eat healthy but really I had rather not eat. I am very thankful I had my transplant and my second chance at life and. I know I’ll have to work harder to get into shape but lack of energy gets in my way. Guess we all have our struggles don’t we. Good luck with yours we will all prevail!!
Transplant Patient
lack of energy is huge. Somehow I had this idea that after transplant i would have so much energy. Today I did 10 minutes of a workout before I had to turn it off. 10! I'm trying to celebrate that I even did 10 minutes and remember that small bits add up to longer time periods but it's discouraging at times to admit my body can't do that. Or that my body still needs to take naps during the day