Trust

Karin

I have an issue with trust. I do not trust anyone really and do not believe in people’s unselfish actions. I think this is due to my diabetes diagnosis 32 years ago - my body betrayed me and nothing could save me. Does anyone else lack trust entirely or at least in your own body? I would go as far as saying I hate my body at times and feel that it should be able to do better?

I try to improve parts of it / I try to work on muscle tone, waistline etc, but there is not one day that goes by without me hating what I was given and wondering what I could have done differently to avoid going through so much pain.

SigEpSinfonian98

I definitely understand what you mean. I was the one out of my siblings that got most of the genetic defects in the family. I am constantly on edge about doing things because I worry about my strength giving out in the middle of doing things. It is an exhausting, constant inward battle.

AliEm14

I 100% felt that way. I continue to feel that way in some aspects of my life. Not as much straight distrust in my body, more of a skepticism, but even that I guess is moving in the right direction.

This is a lot of the work I'm doing now as an embodiment coach, and that I have done throughout my years living with illness with my own coaches. Creating that relationship with my body, taking my power back, discovering my sense of internal safety. It's so important, especially in the chronic illness and transplant world. I'd love for embodiment coaching to become a standard in medical care. It made a huge difference for me

Howanitz39

I also felt that way too I had type one diabetes I got it when I was 14 years old. I kept it pretty much under control until I was 25, I then thought to myself that I would not get the complications that I was told would happen if I did not take care of myself, boy was I so wrong I have had six eye surgeries and am blind in one eye and my other eye is not perfect but I can attest see. I had been on dialysis at home and then at the clinic at home I did it for 12 hours a day but I was getting sick and have to be in the hospital a lot so my doctor wanted me to switch. I was going to the clinic 4 days a week for four hours a day. I was always upset with my body until I started dialysis than I told myself that I need to do this to survive until I get my transplant. I got mine on January of this year, I look at all my scars and think I am a fighter and I think of them as a badge of survival. I too am the only one in my family that has gone through all of this but thank god for my parents help.

Jeanmarie

I too feel this way. I do not have diabetes but was diagnosed with Lupus 24 years ago. I have gone through so many different emotions just like you. It used to make me so upset that my body was attacking itself. I would feel so helpless. It usually happens when I am not feeling well and I start to compare myself to others. It will make me very upset that my body is broken. And I feel I take care of myself and do everything right. I get so frustrated. I have learned over the years to acknowledge my feelings and gently remind myself that I am doing my best. I try to change my thinking to the positive things that my illness has brought to me. Like being humble, being empathetic, kind. And I like those things about myself and I am just a work in progress working on all the other things. But there have definitely been lots of tears from frustration over the years.