General
When asked, "How are you feeling?"...
October 18, 2021
in General
How do you respond to people when they ask "how are you feeling?"
As a chronically ill person, I have a hard time answering this question. For me, it depends on who's asking, how many spoons I have that day, and what else is going on.
I find it more difficult to tell my family how I feel because they are in this with me. They want me to be well as much (if not more) than I do. So if they always ask, and I'm always feeling bad, they want to help or fix it...and sometimes it can't be fixed or helped.
Would love to know how you feel about this question, and who it's hardest to talk about your health with.
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1 - 11 of 11 Replies
This is interesting question. I will give you a quick history, I have been suffering with kidney failure since Jan. 2021. I am on dialysis since then. When someone asks how I’m doing. I always answer “I’m taking it day by day”.
I agree if you tell them what is wrong with you. They always want to help in some way. So I say “get tested for donation”. It sometimes stops the conversation, unfortunately.
Soooo that’s why I say “I’m taking it day by day.” That way if I am having a bad day or a good day, I don’t put them on the spot. Anyway that’s how I handle it.
Transplant Patient
I really like that response. It’s true without sharing too much.
The truth is that I feel lonely and sad within the isolation of Covid. I question whether it's worth it to explain the extra precautions we have to take given our immune-supressant drugs. So many people don't get it. But I think it's generally worth a try because educating others is really important. As a 20 year veteran of kidney transplant with all those years of good life, I also like to give hope to those who need it. Any discussion is, of course, dependant on the circumstances.
When ask the question “How are you doing?” I always respond that I’m good!! It’s easier to say than , I’m tired or I’m depressed today or any other feelings I’m experiencing. I don’t want sympathy from others at all. I’ve always been the positive one, looking on the bright side of everything!! Am I wrong ??
Another answer: Thank you for asking about my condition. It's a day by day experience. But with God anything is possible. I put my trust in him.
Transplant Patient
@Sharon44 COVID has definitely done a number on my mental health. I have a small pod of people (family) we quarantine with and I’m grateful for that. For everyone else in my life, it’s hard to explain how risky it is for me to hang out with them.
I can't even imagine what you're going through. Will be praying for your complete recovery.
Transplant Patient
@Deb I don't think you're wrong. I think every person deals with it differently. If you're being upbeat and positive is authentic for you, I say do it! If you feel like you have to "fake it" for the sake of other people, I'd pause and reevaluate your answer. I don't ever want to go around and tell everyone how I'm feeling because to a degree that's personal for me. (I don't always wanna say I've been in bed for a few days because I'm too depressed to get up)
That being said, that's why I asked this question. And we've all got different answers so that's pretty helpful. I love learning from all of you!
I switch from taking day by day or I’m tired but hanging in there. I don’t think there is a right answer. I just try to move on from the subject.
Transplant Patient
Number one reason I avoid people - I hate this question! Even if I'm honest people always try to spin it into something positive instead of just letting me have a bad day. Usually I just say I'm fine or as well as can be expected and walk away. It all depends on my mood that day though, some days I'm extra sassy about it
I've just given up on the "doing alright" answer that I used to give, instead (unless its a complete stranger) I'm brutally honest about how things are in my life at that point. It takes them back a little which is entertaining for me to see, but sometimes it actually produces good conversation and if I'm feeling down there have been times that the conversation actually helps me. Life's too short to keep bullshitting yourself