Kidney/Pancreas
Just kidding...
I got the call!!! Tuesday I got the call!!
Kidney & Pancreas was available for me. All the coordination went into place and I was scheduled for surgery Thursday at 9:00 am. I spent the night in the hospital on Wednesday and my phone rang just a few hours before surgery Thursday morning. No-go. The donor pancreas wasn't viable.
The let down and disappointment I felt was unreal. I wanted to leave the hospital immediately. Luckily my husband was in the hotel just across the street and was there to get me in 5 (long) minutes.
I slept ALL DAY yesterday. I'm sure part of that was depression, anxiety let down, and catching up on lack of sleep. Today I woke up feeling at peace with the decisions the surgeons made, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm still a bit sad. It was just too perfect. My son is on summer vacation from school, my sister can visit as she is also on break from school, warmer weather means more time outside in our own backyard. It's okay though. The next opportunity will be the perfect one, I hope.
I had kept this a pretty big secret. Only those that ABSOLUTELY needed to know, knew. Cats out of the bag now. Everyone knows. (Or, a lot of people know) It's causing me a lot of different anxiety. It's very weird to tell someone you have organ failure, due to diabetes. I feels like I am the failure. I hate the statement "I thought you had good management of your diabetes". I do, I have worked so damn hard to manage my diabetes. Didn't stop the disease from damaging my kidneys.
Anyway, I think I'm just venting in a safe space. Back to waiting.
1 - 5 of 5 Replies
Oh our beautiful friend. We are here for you every step of the way!
Transplant Patient
@TServold so sorry to hear, but your perfect Gift of Life is coming for you, soon! Keep the go-bag ready! 🙏 Sending you positive vibes & hugs. 🤗
Transplant Patient
I'm so sorry, friend. That's so hard. I don't have any advice to make it easier, or better. It's one of those things you just have to feel your way through. But please know you're not alone. I'm always here for you, as is the entire community here on TransplantLyfe.
So sorry to hear about the no go. It's hard sending hugs. I hope you get the call real soon 💚
Medical Professional
I have to say a lot of our patients on our pancreas list go through this. The panky is a very delicate organ so everything has to be just right and unfortunately during the visualization of the panc it happens that we end up not using it quite often.
Don't see this as a failure or let it get you down. This call got you prepared for the next one. Your time will come and when it does it will be glorious!