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Pancreas

Relationships broken due to transplants

KarinTransplant Patient
Updated May 31, 2021 in Pancreas

Any of you lost a friend or partner due to your transplant??

I lost a boyfriend but that was my own doing / I could not stay with him after he had seen me in three hospitals over one month, and I had been so weak and vulnerable over the totality of our relationship. When I finally had healed / I broke it off / I felt horrible and mean but I just could not look at him anymore - all I thought about was sickness and pain... I did only meet him two months prior to my pancreas and that period was full of waiting and planning ...

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1 - 6 of 6 Replies

  • JeanmarieTransplant Patient

    Yes. I am 15 years post transplant so I have LOTS of examples of this. I was in a relationship when I was first transplanted but felt like he was holding me back from finally living and I broke it off with him and moved to LA.

    Then about 10 years post transplant I was only married for 6 months and I had a major rejection episode. I was in the hospital for months. It took a toll on our marriage and we divorced shortly after.

    And then there are the broken friendships. Some because of my own doing. Not receiving the support I felt like I should be receiving from certain friends led me to dissolving our friendships. I have learned over the years to not put expectations on people. Its not fair to them.

    But I also have the most amazing supportive family and friends that have helped me get to where I am today. I think that those relationships that didn't make it, were not going to make it anyway despite the transplant.

    May 31, 2021
  • ChefAmandaTransplant Patient

    Yes, I had a partner for about 5 years that I met post transplant. As I started to have complications and an episode of rejection they decided it was too much. Ultimately I was told they couldn’t handle it anymore and said they didn’t want to spend their life being a care partner.

    I agree with @Jeanmarie on having to learn to change my expectations of people. Over the years I have built the most amazing support system that have helped me be successful but it wasn’t always easy. Transplant life is not for everyone.

    June 3, 2021
  • AliEm14Transplant Patient

    The relationships that broke were the ones that needed to anyway. They were the people in my life who weren’t for me in the first place and transplant just solidified that.

    my relationship with my partner and immediate family got stronger

    June 3, 2021
  • KarinTransplant Patient

    I am glad you see it that way @AliEm14 but the truth is not as easy as you claim - yes, we all know those relationships may not be worth it longtime but they do hurt when they fall apart!

    June 8, 2021
  • AliEm14Transplant Patient

    @Karin absolutely it’s hard. I’ve lost other relationships, not from transplant but other things in my life. Maybe it’s just having been sick for so long I’m over it 😂 like if you don’t see my worth, there’s the door.

    I think it affects different people in different ways and that’s the truth

    June 8, 2021
  • ChefAmandaTransplant Patient

    @karin @AliEm14 I agree that it affects different people in different ways. When I was younger I took it really hard but as I got older I developed a better attitude towards the situation.

    June 8, 2021
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