General
Is it worth the fight - YES
April 21, 2021
in General
Sometimes I wonder why I fight so hard? Should we just let nature have its way with us and allow for Darwinian selection and allow the weak to be removed?
It only takes a micro second or so for me to negate those feelings and get back into the fight - because that is what life is for all of us - a journey maybe but one w many hills and hurdles - to me it is worth it when I feel good and when I make someone laugh, when I see a response in the eyes of another person and when I feel needed and loved. That is worth the pain and that is why science and medicine are so important to me - allowing us all to feel good at least some times and during those maybe brief moments of peace / feel part of something bigger.
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I have those moments too. I think we are designed to be here. Transplant recipients, I think have a special love for life that radiates to everyone else. We have been so close and have come to terms with facing death and the sudden turn-around of being given a second chance to live is very powerful to show the world some extra gratitude and love.
Transplant Patient
lately I have just become so disappointed in people - how bad they can be, how evil and how selfish. Take the Derek chauvin trial and think back of what he did - how can a man do that to another man? Why do Taliban men rape little girls and why do seemingly nice people mistreat their children or bully their spouses. Mankind is not just good and I have always lived my life believing it ultimately is - only lately have I been corrected so many times I give up a little bit on our fellow humans?
Transplant Patient
Thank you @Doublelung - appreciate your comments and will connect 1x1!
I hear you about this! I will become very overwhelmed and full of anxiety about all the bad things in the world. It makes me so sad. It is about the time I disconnect from the news and social media a bit. It is hard when it is always in our faces. I think our medications can make us hypersensitive to all of it in the world. When I feel like this I do a media including social media cleanse. I spend a day reading books or go on a long hike without my phone. It seems to help.
Transplant Patient
Really good advice Jeanmarie
You are so right, but I also know that selfless acts of kindness and good people far outweigh the bad.
Having said that, it unfortunately isn't just the taliban behaving like this. There are approximately 50K people trafficked in the US every year, and 50% are kids and a huge portion for sex work and such.
There are devils in all cultures, but thankfully there are plenty of angels too.
The double edged sword that is Personal Choice! Perhaps I am oversimplifying things here, but we are all given the choice to follow a path that will lead us to helping others or that will lead to helping only ourselves without a care for anyone else.
While it may seem as though we are surrounded by the selfish, it's important to keep looking for those who are kind & giving. There may be far fewer of these people, but they are out there. I think of nurses who go the extra mile for patients, when they would rather be home with their families, teachers who become mentors, strangers who will pay for your cup of coffee because they have the means. These random acts of kindness happen every single day, we just don't always see them.
On the days I feel like giving up, I try to remember that my life has been spared for a reason, I have a job to do and knowledge to share that can help others who are in a place I have been. How would I feel if my supporters had given up on me?
My last resort is to take some time doing what I love, taking a long walk in my garden and actively seeking out the incredible world of bugs, bees, butterflies, birds and plants. I get lost in that world of nature and feel like a new person afterwards!
Karin, keep going. You are making a huge difference in the lives of people you have never even met! On behalf of those people, THANK YOU, for all that you have already done and continue to do!
Karin I strongly support everything TinaBalive just said. I know there is a lot of good being done all around us its just hard to see with all of the negative reporting the media likes to wallow in. If you look the good in humanity is there and you can be a part of it, it can begin with you.
There are times when I hear of the latest disaster in the news or the latest scandle in politics and is easy to get depressed. At these times I quickly remember that the doomsday reporters and the greedy politicians are not in charge. Our loving Heavenly Father is in charge and when we look to him it is a much brighter picture.
Transplant Patient
Thank you @TinaBalive and @GeraldWayman - I agree there is so much good and so much positive out there which makes everything worth it! For me - the best is seeing how my daughter trusts me and loves me - and I could never disappoint her!
Transplant Patient
Maybe this is slightly off topic or radical thinking but there were many times pre transplant I was so sick and in so much pain and at that time there was really no hope for me and I wouldn’t have cared if my illness killed me. I was tired of fighting. I would have signed a DNR or medically assisted dying if it was offered to me. Obviously that didn’t happen but I’ve learned to be ok with that being how I thought. Yes I love my life and I’m grateful. And I was also so tired of fighting. And I would have understood if I had quit. Because it was hard as hell and I need to acknowledge that too. It’s never an either/or for me. It’s always both/and. I love my life. AND it’s freaking hard and some days I want to quit.
Transplant Patient
@AliEm14 I felt exactly that / I even had a plan - I knew how I could just fall asleep and never wake up - it was tempting and I am so happy I did not execute!!
@AliEm14 I totally agree with you. Just before Transplant I had given up. I planned 1 last night out (Halloween) with my friends and then I was ready to go. I had sorted my will & planned my funeral, I knew I wasn't going to make it to Christmas and I had given up Hoping for my 2nd chance. I had made peace with the fact that my life was going to end & that my dreams would never be achieved.
I was in the garden taking a break from sewing the finishing touches onto my Halloween outfit when I got my Transplant call.
So like you, I completely understand the place of giving up, but I'm also a huge believer that if you push through the rewards can be greater than you ever imagined!
Transplant Patient
@TinaBalive absolutely. I also believe so much good comes from pain. But also pain is hard, and messy, and it’s real. And the people who do give up aren’t weak. They’re human.