General
Connecting to my body
I posted this on Instagram yesterday. It’s in connection with my post I made recently about tacrolimus and progesterone and what I discovered. That our bodies are an eco system and not a machine. I feel like so often in my transplant journey at least it’s been symptom, fix, drug into submission, repeat cycle. And I’m so thankful for drugs like tacrolimus that keep me out of rejection. And I’m realizing in my own life how when we hyper focus on one issue, or for me when I treat one symptom with a pill to get rid of it, I’m missing such important messages my body has for me.
when I come to my body like it’s a vending machine and put something in to get something out, I lose relationship. I hear so often in this community about people hating their bodies, or not trusting them. And I’ve been there, done that, got the tee shirt, still wear it some days. And my body is so wise.
one of the things I do daily to connect with my body is breathwork. Hands on my body, focusing on belly rising with the inhale, falling on the exhale (did you know most of us breathe in reverse? We don’t actually take deep, proper breaths)
I’m also constantly circling my hips (like I’m spinning a teeny tiny hoop), which brings me back to the present and how it currently feels to be in my body. And then I just notice what comes up.
i’d love to hear how you connect with your body! What’s your body relationship like now? How has it ebbed and flowed with your health journey?
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One thing I do is weight lifting, the connection I feel as each of my muscles contract and expand opens up my eyes to the interconnectedness of my body, more than that it brings to mind the realization of how important it is to take care of all of not body and not just bits and pieces. When one part of the body is not working properly, nothing is working properly.
It has also definitely helped in creating a better body image for myself, even though I'm not yet where I want to be I can see the progress and love every subtle change that it brings.
I love that. It's been a while since I lifted weights (hello COVID and not going to gyms), but I'm wanting to get back to it. I feel so strong when I incorporate weights into my exercise routine.
I think I already told you, but I'm loving EFT (emotional freedom technique) tapping lately. I do guided ones. They start with expressing how you are actually feeling without judgment for your thoughts and emotions. Then you allow the emotions to exist in your body, and then you move into the intentional perspective you want to take. It's been so helpful when my brain and my body seem like they are at odds with each other.
I understand that feeling completely, and I think the tension brought upon by weights does actually make you stronger faster (I could be very wrong, I'm no expert). But that feeling of being stronger when using weights could be a confidence thing stemming from having numbers that can be shared, I have found that since I started lifting my confidence has grown as well!
Connecting to my body…I feel like I know my body pretty darn well. I had diabetes since age 13, pancreas transplant age 36. With all I went through with my diabetes and complications it was a constant thing to do what is best…control blood sugars, diet, exercise, work. The transplant alone was a great thing but still need to monitor things. I know my body and I think it is best to have three things (1) accept what you are going through (2) have great doctors who specialize with your problem(s) (3) be willing to follow recommendations and if things aren’t going well to let your doctor know (4) be blessed to have great support (5) be positive. And advocate for yourself. The body is designed to work together and sometimes it just doesn’t….darn
Transplant Patient
I hear this. I have a genetic disease, was born sick which was why i needed the transplant. for me I spent so much time and energy investing in the mechanics of my body and how it worked and my diseases that I never viewed my body outside of that pathological lens. So what does that look like? what does relating to my body outside of my disease or transplant look like? thats a big question. I definitely agree with finding a good medical team and being able to advocate for yourself. Yes be open to suggestion and also trust your gut. More often than not when I'm trusting my gut I've been right, even if the doctors haven't picked up on it
AliEm14. Is your body healthier since transplant, are your diseases under control? Most of us on this site have lived with diseases and wonder why and learn how to deal with them. You have learned the mechanics of your diseases and transplant and that is so good. You are a person with some health problems. I imagine you have family and/or friends that you do things with and enjoy life. I hope so anyway. Your question is a good one. I know I feel like a whole person looking at myself outside of my transplant and health problems. I have laughter, sadness, love etc and have not really thought about it. I’m thinking not to dwell on it and if you are at a loss talking with a good mental health professional would be an idea. You are definitely an intelligent person.
Transplant Patient
@Saveddonna55 i’m doing much better now than I was prior to transplant. I do feel like a huge benefit to me was I already knew how to navigate the medical system. Transplant healthcare was a cake walk to me compared to where I was at before (not that my transplant was easy, I ended up with pretty much every surgical complication known to man)
I think there’s a huge difference in feeling your feelings about your health journey and dwelling on it as you say. I experience intense grief around my health still, but I also can feel those feelings and move through them. I’m not afraid to be in the dark emotions, I’m not trying to always stay positive either. I feel what I feel. There is a huge need for more mental and emotional health care within transplant care. So much of it (from what I’ve seen) is either depression or toxic positivity. And we need to be at a place where we can embrace our feelings and accept them, not avoiding or being afraid of them
AliEm14. Oh my you are going thru a lot. Glad transplant has helped you. I understand the grief about your health but it’s not something I have agonized over. Yes, I would get angry, why me, why can’t I just be normal and do what others do, why can’t I get these low blood sugars under control so I function better, why do I always have to be careful etc. Grief the loss of my Mom x2….(1) when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and she couldn’t be my friend, my Mom, the whole person she was previously. (2) Then my Mom with the Alzheimer’s who had similar qualities but communicated differently. I loved her also. So when she died I grieved her again. Then the grief when I lost my Daddy.
AliEm14. Ran out of room and it’s a good time to stop. I will keep looking for you. Take care of you.
Transplant Patient
@Saveddonna55 so much complex grief there too. I see you, friend. Thank you for sharing your story with me